Posted in General Posts by vivian long on 10/13/2010
Hello beautiful friends!Last night at my small group in church, I asked for prayer about this upcoming week and Training Camp, just that God would really smooth the path and make it abundantly clear to me that the Human Trafficking World Race is definitely where He wants me to be come January. During this prayer, one of the leaders said that she saw a miracle happening within the next few days, something very tangible that would be total affirmation from God.
As a little bit of background, I grew up in a non-denominational church for 18 years. Spiritual gifts were discussed on a Biblical basis, but not particularly It wasn't until June of this year that I even witnessed the gift of speaking in tongues. Previously, I had no doubt that it existed in modern day practice, but I just felt that it was something that I wouldn't experience or even see.
When I was taking an Introduction to the New Testament class this summer, I got to learn about glossolalia, which is the academic term for speaking in tongues. From a secular and academic perspective, I was blessed enough to be educated in this phenomenon and with God's perfect timing, I was even more blessed to witness it for the first time with my parents at my church in New York. The church that I now attend here in NYC is called CityLight, and has truly taught me to focus so much more on the Holy Spirit, whereas before I placed much more of an emphasis on Jesus and God. It just blows my mind how perfect His timing is because I really feel like CityLight prepared me for what God would do in India. During our month of ministry there, I had the incredible experience of praying for a woman who was possessed by demons and my team and I prayed to the Lord to cast them out of her. I must say that it was one of the most intense hour and a halves of my life, but praise the Lord she was eventually delivered. It was on this trip in India that I truly saw the Holy Spirit's miraculous power in so many ways.
Back to today, it's been a pretty normal day. Things have been busy and through a random chain of events, I didn't end up going to my 3:30-6:10 class (SORRY MOM!). I've been just sitting in the student center getting things done, and I got a call from a number I'd never seen before, and it turned out to be Pastor Vee, the pastor our team worked with in India this summer. Suffice to say, this is the affirmation from God that my small group leader was referring to. Even though it might seem so small, I feel like God literally CALLED me to return to India, and I feel so certain that this is where He wants me. Every single thing that happened today, from running late at a dress rehearsal, to missing class, to having my phone next to me for that call is just proof to me of His divine timing.
This year, I feel like God is really expanding my faith and allowing me to explore so many different aspects of living for Him. Because I went on so many missions trips when I was younger and prayed to see miracles, but didn't get to witness them, I figured that God just hadn't blessed me with those kinds of spiritual gifts. I knew that other people had them, and so in preparation for India, I accepted that; my prayers changed from "Lord, let me see a miracle if it's in Your will," to "Lord, use me however you see fit in Your perfect will." Coincidentally, it was in India that I saw miracle upon miracle - sometimes multiple ones in one evening of ministry - and through prayer God achieved so much.
Spiritually, I'm still not sure what kind of spiritual gifts He has given me or that He will give me in the future; I firmly believe that He bestows these on us when we are ready, and clearly on my previous trips, I was not. I still haven't spoken in tongues or had any prophecies, but I pray that God would continue to sharpen me and use me however He wants so that I can live for His glory.
Expectantly, Vivian
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Posted in General Posts by vivian long on 10/4/2010
Hello beautiful people!
It's a rainy Monday here in Manhattan. Admittedly, I'm more of a sunshine filled weekend kind of girl, but it's the beginning of a new week and there's a lot I'm looking forward to over the next few days :) Yesterday, however, I had the blessing of going to my home church here in NYC, CityLight! The majority of our leadership is actually on a mission trip to Guatemala right now, so we had a guest pastor and his message was based on the good Samaritan story (Luke 10:25-37).
Now for most Christians, this tale is fairly well known, a model for the way we should treat those around us with unquestionable love despite circumstance or difference. However, yesterday the pastor didn't focus on the Samaritan, rather he spoke about the "expert of the law" who "tested" Jesus (NIV, Luke 10:25). This man was seeking to challenge Jesus, to either confirm or deny His validity in the knowledge of religion, asking Jesus a theological question. However, Jesus (always one step ahead), responded with His own question and turned the tables. The expert was easily able to answer, but wanted to "justify" himself and ask yet another slightly rhetorical but mostly haughty question, "And who is my neighbor?" (NIV, Luke 10:29). Well, suffice to say, Jesus had the perfect anecdote in the good Samaritan, highlighting the intentional negligence of the Levite and the compassion of the Samaritan (whom, in my understanding, were generally not widely accepted by the Jewish community). The expert of the law concedes to Jesus; acknowledging that a neighbor is one that is merciful, and Jesus tells him to "go and do likewise" (NIV, Luke 10:37).
What the pastor really emphasized was the character of the expert of the law. Although this story isn't terribly descriptive, it seems that this expert sought to reaffirm his own knowledge through using Jesus, hoping that he would get Jesus' acknowledgement that he was indeed, an expert. Pridefully, he wanted to display his familiarity with the Torah, and so he strategically asked Jesus a question that he figured was deep enough to impress Him, but basic enough that it could be answered. However, Jesus had the perfect response, which actually ended up kindly defeating the expert, but also served to illuminate the distinction between an expert of the law versus a follower and lover of Christ. The pastor asked us, how often, as Christians, do we use religious jargon and the lengthy recitation of verses to "impress" Jesus or to reaffirm our own status as super Christians? For people like me, raised in a very religious home and attending Sunday School every week, the teachings of the Bible are intellectually and factually second nature. We adopt the Christianese vocabulary and use it to communicate with other believers, an internal language and form of camaraderie.
The part that made the biggest impact on me was when the pastor said, "there is a difference between being transparent and vulnerable." As Christians, especially those of us called to the mission field, we aren't afraid to be transparent with our faith - after all, by definition, a missionary is someone who is completely devoted to sharing their faith with those they encounter. The majority of us are very familiar with the Bible, have some verses on our Facebook, and willingly share the many ways God has moved in our lives. However, what does it mean to be a vulnerable follower of Christ? Yes, our transparency to our peers allows for a certain level of vulnerability, through scrutiny and even occassionally condemnation. But how often do we actually go out of our way to make our faith vulnerable? To actively seek things that will expose our fears, our own questions?
The first verse of the good Samaritan story says that the expert of the law tested Jesus. Personally, I want a God that is willing to be tested, a savior that is constantly questioned because it shows that they are able to withstand those trials. Even to this day, and maybe more so than ever, people are constantly seeking answers in Christianity. Jesus always has the perfect answer, because he IS perfect. Unlike Jesus, I won't always have the perfect answer, but like Him, I want to be a follower of Christ that is constantly tested, not just in my intellectual comprehension of Jesus and the Bible, but one that is constantly pushed and stretched to reevaluate my complete devotion to Jesus.
In the spirit of this being my first post (and I am very impressed and grateful if you actually made it through the end!), I want to commit myself to being vulnerable through this journey (and for those of you that already know me, transparency is pretty much a given). I want to be vulnerable to Jesus, first and foremost, but also to the people I will encounter on the missions field, my team, and especially those of you who will be following through the trip. I pray that you would ask me questions, give me thoughts to consider, and for those of you who are skeptical about faith (and even more so about Jesus), I want to be here as a resource to share with you my own joys and struggles in faith. Thank you so much for taking the time to read :)
Love, Vivian
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